要不要当个游戏开发工程师

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今天收到两个一直以来最期待的录取:宾夕法尼亚的ComputerGraphicGameTechnology,卡内基梅陇的Entertainment Technology。在点开录取信的一瞬间不顾旁人的由衷开心,简直想跟微信列表上的所有朋友分享。
图像与游戏真是我从小的梦想。我几乎是竭尽所能地让自己与它们有所瓜葛。
什么红警暗黑CS穿越火线地下城卡丁车刺客信条侠盗飞车我都玩过,玩得再烂也坚持不懈地去浪费时间;
单机的动作类游戏我几乎都难以通关,纯属为了看美工效果也乐意四处收集下载珍藏;
上大学时乘着地铁个把小时只为看一出展览;
寒假里跟着要艺考的高中生们一起画画素描;

科研也尽力找了个图像方面的课题;
交流时选了一个特别费时间的计算机图形学课程;
还在阿德莱德争取到了一次在电影特效公司工作体验的机会;

以及在复旦的最后一个学期抓紧机会选修到了游戏设计基础。

当被问到最理想的工作是什么、最期待的公司是哪里,回答总是不假思索,迪士尼的特效工程师。

第一次听说ETC是在一个模糊不清的4分钟视频里。主讲人在仅剩最后四个月生命时给出了他的最后一课,他不是在讲死亡,而是在聊生活。如何欢度童年、如何进去成长、如何在快乐中工作、如何团队协作、如何实现你童年时的梦想。很难想象一个明知自己死期的人可以讲话不乏幽默,却又在戛然而止的结尾处感动得几乎落泪。后来才了解到,主讲人正是ETC项目的联合创始人。啊~ETC她真是特别~她同时接受计算机背景和艺术背景学生,于是不同背景的学生可以合作完成高品质的游戏,乃至遇到贯穿人生的合作伙伴。她制度灵活,两年的项目,第一个学期上(一些听起来就超酷的)课,接着两个学期跟音频、艺术背景的同学组队做项目、实战开发游戏,还有一个学期可以做项目/实习/上课任选,还有比她更特别的项目吗?
附上这个几乎可以背下来的视频:Randy Pausch Last Lecture

可是真的收到录取信了,只是想想的梦想真的就这样近在眼前了,照进现实而不是做梦了,我居然...犹豫了。在点开录取信的一瞬间不顾旁人的由衷开心,简直想跟微信列表上的所有朋友分享,但也就在那一瞬间而已。我真的要走游戏这条路吗?我可以找到工作吗?为什么要选一条更艰难的路走?在本该接受恭喜的时候,却矫情地陷入了悲伤。
查看了很多资料,在一个类似国外知乎的地方( https://www.quora.com/Are-game-developers-happy?srid=wX7u&share=be070d56)有个提问是“
Are game developers happy?”,在回答里收获了这些写给游戏开发工作的情书:

“Game development is difficult, stressful, exhausting, unstable… and I can't imagine doing anything else.”
游戏开发难、烦、累、乱,但舍她其谁。

“Many of us live for that moment when we see behavior and visuals that we created, in someone else's hands, puting a big smile on that person's face.”
看着自己创造的行为和视觉在其人手中把玩,让他因此微笑。我们中的许多人,为此刻而生。

“Making games is part of who I am, it's my lifestyle. I do worry about finances and about paying bills but that's hardly unique to making games.”
做游戏是我的一部分,是我生活的方式。我的确担心财产与账单,但这些完全不能阻止我做游戏。

“As David says... Game Development is underpaid, over-worked, all consuming. And those of us who do it love it. Or we'd be insane to keep doing it.”
别人说的对,游戏开发赚的少、做得多、整天殚精竭虑。我们做这行爱这行,不然我们是疯了吗还不跳槽。

这样的时刻会非常希望有人跟我说一句:“坚持你的梦想。”就像在李安卖不出剧本赚不到钱的时候,当他萌生了“去学个计算机当码农赚钱算了”的想法的时候,他妻子对他说的:“安,坚持你的梦想。”
可是我的梦想,值得坚持吗?
我的绘画水平仅止于娱乐自己、收获朋友圈点赞,远不能跟艺术生同日而语,更别提以此谋生了;科研的课题我尽力找到个改善的算法,结果反而更差了一点;交流时选的计算机图形学课程,每次作业也就是保持中上水平,便不思进取安于现状;游戏设计基础就是水过去的,随便改了几处代码,做了一个自己也不会玩的游戏就交上去了。对比同班的学弟那些精彩到让我立刻去下载下来玩的作品,不可避免地怀疑,我对游戏真的有热情吗?;电影特效公司的员工在开心的工作之余也曾跟我提及,“特效就业圈子很小,当你想安分下来定居,想发展一段长期关系,却又收到了另一个城市的工作机会。”一个工作室通常不会保持很大规模,只是接到工作时会聘请更多人手帮忙。这种工作真的是稳定的反义词。
又在一份从业者满意度调查报告(http://c.ymcdn.com/sites/www.igda.org/resource/collection/CB31CE86-F8EE-4AE3-B46A-148490336605/IGDA%20DSS%202015-SummaryReport_Final_Sept15.pdf)里看到这些数据:

Just fewer than 5% of the survey sample (81 respondents) indicated that they were currently unemployed in the game industry. Among this unemployed group, 34% were laid off, 3% were fired, 15% ended a contract and had not found a new one, 8% quit and 2% retired.
调查者中的5%目前处于失业,其中34%停工、3%解雇、15%待业、8%辞职、2%退休。

The majority of this group had been unemployed in the industry for over a year (48%), 21% had been unemployed for 3-11 months and the remaining 31% had been unemployed for 2 months or less. Most wanted to find another job in the industry (76%) or they had a new job lined up, but had not yet started (6%).
失业者中大多数(48%)已经失业一年了,大多数(76%)还想在游戏行业接着工作。

Although 43% of respondents indicated that their company had either “good” (29%) or “excellent” (15%) potential for promotion or career advancement, 26% felt that they weren’t sure or were “neutral” toward this question. Respondents seemed relatively divided about whether their profession had a clear career path. Almost half said that their profession does have a clear career path (48%), the remaining 52% said that there is no clear career path (35%) or that they were not sure (17%).
尽管43%的人认为他们的公司有不错的升职机会,26%的人认为他们不确定。48%的人有明确职业规划,而52%的人没有。

Overall, freelancers in this sample make significantly less than their traditionally employed counterparts; 37% make less than $15,000 US per year and the next highest response category was only $30,000-40,000 (12%). Only 24% of freelancer respondents reported making more than $50,000 per year. Many freelancers are paid an hourly wage (29%) or per deliverable (21%), but most freelancers arrange a combination of compensation practices (31%).
37%的自由工作者年薪$15,000以下,12%能赚到$30,000-40,000,只有24%的人能赚$50,000以上。29%的自由工作者是时薪制,21%按项目付钱,31%的人两者都有。

Only 15% of students are very confident and 32% are somewhat confident in their ability to get their first job. This compared to the 35% who are not too confident and the 18% who are not confident at all in their ability to find a first job after graduation.
仅有15%的学生对于找到工作很有信心,32%有一定信心他们能找到第一份工作,35%没什么信心,18%完全没信心。

以往22年的人生都是照着攻略升级,跟着大多数人走的康庄大道奔小康。申请图像与游戏的方向不过是一次任性而为吧。事到如今看见了独木桥才想着,我为什么要冒那个风险去走呢,我又不是那么想当个开拓者。

地里的朋友们,给我些建议好吗?
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