托福写作29经验分享

[align="left"]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/align][align="left"]第六篇：lao mei185练习。[/align][align="left"]#练习6# the most important thing you want to change about your hometown[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]字数：451[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Asked what our government will do in my hometown to raise up citizens' living standards, the response must be the boilerplate answer: our greatest contribution to development of economy will be to keep our citizens' living happily. However, the environment really matters. Given if I could change certain important thing in our hometown, I would immediately purify the environment without a doubt.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]On the first stage, our citizens would live a much happier life in fresh air. We could hang out, walk dogs, and jog in the morning to appreciate sunshine and embrace nature in a clean city. Such activities are apt to equip us with transparent access to enjoyable mood and release of pressure. In fact, asked about their favorable key to happiness, hundreds of millions of citizens—rich and poor, young and old, married and single, anyone who participated in the survey conducted by our local government-- have shown their preference to for a clean environment.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Besides happiness, our health is what human has always been about. The environment concerns health of everybody-- the working men and women, children, our brighter future, and the elderly. Atmosphere full of dust and toxic gas will lead to pneumonia; underground water polluted by industrial effluent will lead to serious diarrhea; food grown in poisonous soil or suffered from excess pesticide will lead to all kinds of diseases in our organisms, and eventually destroy them. Thus, it has been quite clear that any economic development would just turn into nonsense without a clean and beautiful environment, since it's the key factor to humans’ health, who are the actual contributors in the process of development.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Another crucial perspective we can't overlook is that our village and city, and our country on a larger scale, have no access to sustainable development within the devastated soil. We may continue to cast ourselves into the indefinite pursuit of profit and efficiency, however, such desire would damage the long-term function of nature, since it is shortsightedly targeted at temporary utility. A most illustrating instance is the circumstance in my hometown, which once prospered due owing to decades of mining. It fell into decay soon because of the irreversible and irreparable damage we made in previous time. Consequently, polluted underground water and heavy haze concerning over-exploitation even aggravated the situation. Considering all the disastrous effect such pollution could incur, it’s conspicuous that we can’t wait to improve the environmental circumstances any more.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]It's time to end the hoary platitude of our local government just to focus on the rapid development of economy. If only my wish would come true that our hometown would turn into clean and beautiful again. To accomplish this, there is more for us to walk the walk, instead of just talking the talk.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]出错单词：hometown productive representative diarrhea[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/align][align="left"]第七篇：lao mei185练习。[/align][align="left"]#练习4#Knowledge from experience or from book[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]480字[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Think about the knowledge within our reach: experience that leads the world in utility; books that attracts a new generation of systematic tradition and culture; a future where we’re in control of our own strength and prosperity; and nothing could be separated out of the access to knowledge. Too often people have argued about which is prior for us. However, between experience and books, I'd still like to attach the importance to books more.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]On the first stage, efficiency is what human has always been about. Reading equips us with plain transparent access to collect and absorb principles. For instance, we youngsters may go to libraries or bookstores for printed materials such as academic journals or classical literature, or search the Internet for electronic versions of books. Both ways are affordable and accessible for to us. Whereas, we have to rack our brains to accumulate experience, through the instruction of celebrities, various internship or attempt to figure out oceans of puzzles.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Another perspective we shouldn’t overlook is that books are the best representative of reliability, especially textbooks. There are few mistakes to revise in books, since the quality of textbooks has been guaranteed through verification of thousands of millions of readers. For this reason, books have been named citizen’s favorable choices to absorb convincing information for two years consecutively, according to the report, as an overwhelming 61.4 percent of the college students expressed their preference for reading, toppling trial and error. However, we could gain nothing but temporary circumstance at a particular moment through experience, which is very likely apt to be subjective, one-sided and even wrong.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]After all, we also know that when students don't walk away from their books, most of them walk the stage to get the systematic knowledge. We would get a more comprehensive perspective towards certain issues in the book, to which I suppose devotion and perspiration of generations of researchers contribute much. An illustrating example is my experience with a book concerning ordinary differential equations last term. There contains oceans of information about equations—its classification, definition, integration of theory and appliance, and mathematicians who dedicated to it. Such learning is often broad and abstract in contrast to the narrowness and bias of the understanding—personal experience. To be worse, given if we had no access but to learn through experience, thousands of millions of researchers would get drown in indefinite calculation and futile deduction, thus end up in vain.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]After ruminating over all these factors, the essay is the answer that led those who've been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about books as the main source of knowledge to put them on the way of reading books and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day. It's been a long time coming, at this defining moment, change has come to the pursuit of knowledge.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]出错单词：representative verify particular obtain[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/align][align="left"]第八篇：lao mei185练习。[/align][align="left"]#练习84# 互联网的缺点。[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Problem[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]1. Disoriented[/align][align="left"]2. Distract[/align][align="left"]3. Harmful inf[/align][align="left"]字数：515字[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Asked what modern technology can do to improve citizens’ living quality, the response must be the boilerplate answer: the greatest contribution of Internet will be to keep people associating with indefinite information. More and more people also seem to depend on Internet to search for resources, however, I insist that Internet will disorient and distract us, while there is so much harmful information online.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]On the first stage, few of us would deny that while we are drown in oceans of data online, we may lose orientation easily. Although Internet equips us with easy access to global heated issues and diverse resources, there is no way for us to distinguish their priority and reliability. In this way, it's only left collecting information much more swiftly rather than absorbing knowledge more easily. An illustrating example is my experience with a digital library which possesses practically all the books that I desire, no matter academic journals or classical literatures. I consumed much time on downloading colorful and intriguing books there. However, one month later, I ended up with tens of hundreds of books in my kindle yet none of them finished or even clicked.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Besides losing ourselves, another property of Internet is latently harmful for any learning mind- it distracts.Whenever we search for something via Internet, it not only provide us with relevant results to make use of, but also external links to click, which interferes with our concentration seriously. According to an online survey done by psychological falculties in Peking University in 2001, an overwhelming 61.8 percent of links shown in the search engine results are irrevelant. Also, it's quite common that we may turn on the computer to check school library for materials but end up watching Youtube videos, through which reduce our efficiency and waste our time quite a lot. Considering all the unpleasing consequence Internet may incur, it's kind of impossible for us to acclaim it for reliability.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Last but not least, another thing to be worried about is that we could expose ourselves to too much harmful information online devoid of effective censorship. Admittedly, these inappropriate contents are apt to mislead youngsters, innocent children in particular, and result in serious problems subquently. Too often we have encountered with harmful information within huge seas of sources, to name a few, violent images, exposure to drugs, as well as implications about sexual harassment. Such images might be inentives for kids to imitate relatively certain actions, which has a negative influence on their future development and further orientation. Additionally, computer virus hidden among these information may also attack our computer system, which brings about a series of problems. Thus, it's pretty conspicuous that so much information probably would do harm to us.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Above all, too much information online might disorient and distract us, while harmful information is also improper for us to accept. If there is anyone who still wonders whether we may lose ourselves on the Internet, anyone who still doubts whether we’re able to focus while searching, anyone who still questions the danger of inappropriate contents online, this essay would be my answer.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/align][align="left"]第九篇：lao mei185练习。[/align][align="left"]#练习1#上大学的好处[/align][align="left"]（苹果同学点评）[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]More and more people tend to attend universities under different circumstances which is quite interesting. Some may argue that they have no choice but to register in universities for a bachelor’s degree. Though, I find all of them go to universities for general knowledge, specific skills which are preparation for work, and living experiences.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]To begin with, few of us would deny that plentiful courses and experiment in universities would lead us to improve the ability to acknowledge, analyze and discuss general knowledge and heated global issues. Also, it's not uncommon that we can open up our outlooks when exposed to varieties of lectures and activities, two essential parts of off-campus events in which personal stands won't be constrained. Common sense informed me that one can never develop into a modern human unless he would get access to all kinds of general knowledge.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Besides general knowledge, varieties of schools and faculties in a university lead to every aspect of specific skills in life, which is like a tiny but indispensable gear for the running of the whole society. However, it's kind of impossible to obtain the specific skill in any other place, no matter how much you tried. An analyst can never carry out statistics without solving thousands and of millions of titles; an architect can never build up a skyscraper without foundation of drawing countless pictures of architecture; a doctor can never manage in an operation without practicing in internship in universities. Thus, one's studying in a university concerns preparation for his or her own career development, the most essential part of life that professional capacities learned in universities play indispensable roles in.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Last but not least, we can not only learn general and professional knowledge but also living experience in universities -- making acquaintance, cooking meals, fixing furniture, washing clothes, earning money and so on. Without a doubt, independence matters. Living alone in advance before contact with occupation may allow you enough space for mistakes and innocence. Accordingly, it is more likely for those who entered universities to get promotion in a company with adequate personal cognition to life.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]All in all, we youngsters must attend great importance to attending universities for the pursuit of knowledge, capacities and experience. If there is anyone who doubts if it helps to obtain general knowledge in universities, who still wonders if they can acquire specific skills in universities, who still questions if necessary to attend universities to learn how to live independently, the essay is my answer.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]416字。[/align][align="left"]

[/align][align="left"]-------------------------------------[/align][align="left"]第一版：[/align][align="left"]More and more people tend to attend universities under different circumstances which is quite interesting. Some may argue that they have no choice but to register in universities for a bachelor’s degree. Though, I find all of them go（going） to universities for general knowledge, specific skills which are preparation for work, and living experiences.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]To begin with, few of us would deny that plentiful courses and experiment in universities would lead us to improve the ability to(这是固定搭配么，我感觉用of+doing更好) acknowledge, analyze and discuss general knowledge and heated global issues（热点问题？Hotspot？）. Also, it's not uncommon （为啥不直接用common hh~）that we can open up our outlooks when exposed to varieties of lectures and activities,（lack of prep.） two essential parts of off-campus events in which personal stands won't be constrained. Common sense informed(informs)me that one can never develop into a modern human unless he would get access to all kinds of general knowledge.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Besides general knowledge, varieties of schools and faculties in a university lead to every aspect of specific skills in life, which is like a tiny but indispensable gear for the running of the whole society(Brilliant!). However, it's kind of impossible to obtain the specific skill in any other place, no matter how much you tried. An analyst can never carry out statistics without solving thousands and(cut down) of millions of titles; an architect can never build up a skyscraper without foundation of drawing countless pictures of architecture(这两个例子写的很棒，不过感觉没有充足说明university的作用，和论点契合不大如果能像后面的句子一样点出university会好一点); a doctor can never manage in an operation without practicing in internship in universities. Thus, one's studying in a university concerns preparation for his or her own career development, the most essential part of life that professional capacities learned in universities play indispensable roles in.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Last but not least, we can not only learn general and professional knowledge but also （learn）living experience in universities -- making acquaintance, cooking meals, fixing furniture, washing clothes, earning money and so on. Without a doubt, independence matters. Living alone in advance before contacting with occupation may allow you enough space for mistakes and innocence. Accordingly, it is more likely for those who entered universities to get a promotion in a company with adequate personal cognition to life.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]All in all, we youngsters must attend great importance to attending universities for the pursuit of knowledge, capacities and experience. If there is anyone who doubts if it helps to obtain general knowledge in universities, who still wonders if they can acquire specific skills in universities, who still questions if necessary to attend universities to learn how to live independently, the essay is my answer.（Fantastic！）[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Summary：\有点小啰嗦了，就像 not uncommon O(∩_∩)O哈哈~。[/align][align="left"]各种句型运用的很精彩，不过有些地方有点强行使用句型的嫌疑，我的写作老师认为意思表达精简，用词准确就行，不用太刻意套用句型，我觉得还是有点道理。[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/align][align="left"]第十篇。综合写作练习。[/align][align="left"]TPO1。 392字[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]The author explains that to work a four-day workweek is very beneficial for the development of individuals, companies and the whole society, on a larger scale. The speaker, however, suggests that it won't be a wise choice to offer employees the option of working a four-day workweek, even with less salary.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]The author states that there are many benefits to offer employees the option of working a four-day workweek. Firstly, the new method may equip companies with easy access to more profits when employees feel less stressed out with less mistakes, which are apt to cause enormous economic loss. Secondly, common sense informs us that the company won't be forced to pay more for more new staffs while the quantity of work can be guaranteed, as those who work for four days a week will only receive eighty percent of their original salary. What's more, there will be less employees who suffer from too much work. Consequently, less errors may help the company to make more profits. For the whole country, the unemployment rates would be reduced because of the new policy. While for our individuals, we'd be allowed to have more private time to enjoy a high-quality life.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]However, the speaker presents strong disagreement towards the four-day workweek policy. Because firstly, it's very likely that companies would be forced to pay more for more workers, considering the training, medical insurances, office space and computer devices for new staff, which can't be cut down. Besides, although more jobs would be available, the company will raise their expectation towards those who choose to work for four days a week. They would be expected to finish work in four days which they were supposed to complete in five days, and that will only end up with unpleasant working experience. Waht's more, with more free time, employees are still very possible to reduce their life quality. Because their positions wouldn't be as stable as before. They might not get advanced during their career development, and they won't be considered to be the best candidate for promotion since companies prefer those who work for five days a week to be the managers. In this way, they may lose their jobs as a consequence of the option of working a four-day workweek.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"] [/align]