MSE master ps求改 谢谢~
18006
[align="left"]已经找人润色过了，想请大家看看内容结构方面还需要哪些调整~ [/align][align="left"]
[/align][align="left"]The evolution of technology has played a determining role in thehistory of humankind. From the invention of metal tools in the prehistoric erato the design of semiconductors in present-day computers, technologicalinnovations dramatically affect the way we live. I would like to contribute tothe development of new technologies as a materials engineer and would considerit an honour to be given the opportunity to study at________ in order to worktowards this goal.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]I am currently pursuing a Bachelor of Material Science at the XXX, a university of international repute. My threeyears of studies have yielded an in-depth understanding of materials scienceand engineering on both the theoretical and practical levels. My GPA attests tomy overall proficiencies in critical thinking and analysis. Furthermore, I havelearned to synthesize, characterize and test many different kinds of materials with precision and rigor. [/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]My course in ___________ignited my passion for scientific research,inspiring me to continue my studies in materials engineering. Under my owninitiative and with the guidance of the course tutor, I synthesized thePGA-CMCTS hydrogel, whose purpose is to rapidly staunch blood flow from a woundby absorbing the water in the blood. My experiments identified the optimalcomponents of PGA and CMCTS in maximizing the hydrogel's absorbency. Thisproject was an exciting opportunity to apply the theoretical knowledge I hadacquired in my polymer chemistry class to solve tangible problems. Not only didI gain experiential skills in scientific research, but I also felt a real senseof accomplishment in finding that my work as an engineer could serve to improvetechnologies for the betterment of humankind. [/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]In order to gain more research experience, I am currently working as anassistantto associate professor Chen Yu in his project, "The Applicationof 6-OH cyclodextrin-immobilized chitosan derivative on the electrochemical H2O2 biosensor". This project is of vitalimportance because food safety issues are becoming an increasingly severeproblem in China.One contributing factor may be the presence of residual hydrogen peroxide infoods as a result of processing. The aim of our project is to employimmobilized enzymes to break down residual H2O2 into radicals and to let them activate thefluorescent probe so that the signal can be detected by fluorescencespectrophotometer. In the first phase of the research, I was responsible fordetermining the optimal condition of the immobilized enzymes.With the help of amaster's student, I learned to use a fluorescence spectrophotometer, andconducted the experiment successfully. Inspired by my positive results, Iattempted to independently use carboxymethyl-chitosan to include the enzymes, agoal which took two months of experimentation to realize. My major problem wasthat the results of fluorescencewere different each time I performed theexperiment, even when all the variables remained the same. My efforts toprevent artificial errors and to resynthesize the reagent proved to befruitless. These multiple failures were frustrating, but I persevered in myattempts. Finally, I read an article which revealed that rhodamine B turns into lactoneconfiguration and loses its fluorescenceactivity when included by cyclodextrin. Thiswas the cause of my erratic results. Words cannot express the satisfaction Ifelt when I finally found the solution to my problem! While the project helpedme to perfect my practical skills in conducting experiments, even moreimportantly, it taught me to persist in the face of the unexpected obstaclesinherent in scientific research.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]My internship at Shenma Engineering PlasticCompany played an important role in my decision to pursue my Master's Degree inthe USA. During my internship, I discovered that although the company is thelargest producer of nylon in Asia, its nylonproduction technology is American. In addition, it imports the raw materialmalononitrile from an American company to produce the nylon. This discovery mademe very keen to study in a country that boasts such sophisticated manufacturingtechnology, not to mention cutting-edge scientific research. Another compellingreason that I want to study in the United Statesis that scientists and researchers from all over the world choose Americaas a place to work. Meeting and collaborating with such a diverse group wouldgive me a chance to share in ideas that emanate from all over the world, andyet find their fruition in America.Compared to the fairly conservative approach I am used to in China, theresearch possibilities (and the facilities that house them) in the UnitedStates seem to have limitless potential. [/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Oil shortages, exhaust pollution, and global warming are becomingincreasingly severe international issues. As scientists, we are at a turningpoint, and it is up to us to lead the way forward with research into the fieldof clean energy. One potential avenue for combating our present global problemsis the development of ecological energy sources such as solar cells and batteries.In the course of a master's program, I would like to study and gather theskills needed to conduct further research in the clean energy field--not onlybecause I find this work fascinating, but also because I regard it as anessential discipline as we move forward into the next century. [/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]I believe that the highly research-oriented and talented facultymembers in Materials Science and Engineering at___________,along with its sophisticated research facilities, will develop my potential asa materials engineer. Enrollment in your Master's Program would be a first stepin my contributions to the evolution of technologies beneficial for both humansand the Earth.[/align]
补充内容 (2013-12-10 18:41):
下面隔开了，没想到都粘一起了
[/align][align="left"]The evolution of technology has played a determining role in thehistory of humankind. From the invention of metal tools in the prehistoric erato the design of semiconductors in present-day computers, technologicalinnovations dramatically affect the way we live. I would like to contribute tothe development of new technologies as a materials engineer and would considerit an honour to be given the opportunity to study at________ in order to worktowards this goal.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]I am currently pursuing a Bachelor of Material Science at the XXX, a university of international repute. My threeyears of studies have yielded an in-depth understanding of materials scienceand engineering on both the theoretical and practical levels. My GPA attests tomy overall proficiencies in critical thinking and analysis. Furthermore, I havelearned to synthesize, characterize and test many different kinds of materials with precision and rigor. [/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]My course in ___________ignited my passion for scientific research,inspiring me to continue my studies in materials engineering. Under my owninitiative and with the guidance of the course tutor, I synthesized thePGA-CMCTS hydrogel, whose purpose is to rapidly staunch blood flow from a woundby absorbing the water in the blood. My experiments identified the optimalcomponents of PGA and CMCTS in maximizing the hydrogel's absorbency. Thisproject was an exciting opportunity to apply the theoretical knowledge I hadacquired in my polymer chemistry class to solve tangible problems. Not only didI gain experiential skills in scientific research, but I also felt a real senseof accomplishment in finding that my work as an engineer could serve to improvetechnologies for the betterment of humankind. [/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]In order to gain more research experience, I am currently working as anassistantto associate professor Chen Yu in his project, "The Applicationof 6-OH cyclodextrin-immobilized chitosan derivative on the electrochemical H2O2 biosensor". This project is of vitalimportance because food safety issues are becoming an increasingly severeproblem in China.One contributing factor may be the presence of residual hydrogen peroxide infoods as a result of processing. The aim of our project is to employimmobilized enzymes to break down residual H2O2 into radicals and to let them activate thefluorescent probe so that the signal can be detected by fluorescencespectrophotometer. In the first phase of the research, I was responsible fordetermining the optimal condition of the immobilized enzymes.With the help of amaster's student, I learned to use a fluorescence spectrophotometer, andconducted the experiment successfully. Inspired by my positive results, Iattempted to independently use carboxymethyl-chitosan to include the enzymes, agoal which took two months of experimentation to realize. My major problem wasthat the results of fluorescencewere different each time I performed theexperiment, even when all the variables remained the same. My efforts toprevent artificial errors and to resynthesize the reagent proved to befruitless. These multiple failures were frustrating, but I persevered in myattempts. Finally, I read an article which revealed that rhodamine B turns into lactoneconfiguration and loses its fluorescenceactivity when included by cyclodextrin. Thiswas the cause of my erratic results. Words cannot express the satisfaction Ifelt when I finally found the solution to my problem! While the project helpedme to perfect my practical skills in conducting experiments, even moreimportantly, it taught me to persist in the face of the unexpected obstaclesinherent in scientific research.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]My internship at Shenma Engineering PlasticCompany played an important role in my decision to pursue my Master's Degree inthe USA. During my internship, I discovered that although the company is thelargest producer of nylon in Asia, its nylonproduction technology is American. In addition, it imports the raw materialmalononitrile from an American company to produce the nylon. This discovery mademe very keen to study in a country that boasts such sophisticated manufacturingtechnology, not to mention cutting-edge scientific research. Another compellingreason that I want to study in the United Statesis that scientists and researchers from all over the world choose Americaas a place to work. Meeting and collaborating with such a diverse group wouldgive me a chance to share in ideas that emanate from all over the world, andyet find their fruition in America.Compared to the fairly conservative approach I am used to in China, theresearch possibilities (and the facilities that house them) in the UnitedStates seem to have limitless potential. [/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]Oil shortages, exhaust pollution, and global warming are becomingincreasingly severe international issues. As scientists, we are at a turningpoint, and it is up to us to lead the way forward with research into the fieldof clean energy. One potential avenue for combating our present global problemsis the development of ecological energy sources such as solar cells and batteries.In the course of a master's program, I would like to study and gather theskills needed to conduct further research in the clean energy field--not onlybecause I find this work fascinating, but also because I regard it as anessential discipline as we move forward into the next century. [/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]I believe that the highly research-oriented and talented facultymembers in Materials Science and Engineering at___________,along with its sophisticated research facilities, will develop my potential asa materials engineer. Enrollment in your Master's Program would be a first stepin my contributions to the evolution of technologies beneficial for both humansand the Earth.[/align]
补充内容 (2013-12-10 18:41):
下面隔开了，没想到都粘一起了
6条回复