小弟刚写的ps初稿，申美国工程管理ms，背景不强，求大神拍并提修改建议
232210
Up to now, there are two turning points existing in my life, and it is just these turning points that facilitate the decision of choosing engineering management as the field of my graduate program.
The first one happened when I was a high school student, before then, I was a naughty and shiftless boy mingling with students who did not do the right things which were supposed to be done by the excellent students. My life kept being such a mess until an afternoon in my second year. I was requested to have a talk with my English teacher. Every word of what she said will be engraved in my mind forever because it elevates my life into a higher level. I was very smart and could have been an outstanding student but for the reason that I did not pay enough effort, I became what I was. Everything would be different if I focus my attention on my study and future. Finally, I finished the first transformation of my life after gaining a excellent score from the admission examination of college. The former bad boy received admiration from his family and friends. My father is an electrical engineer, though he is not a great one, every time I saw him debugging programs and adjusting apparatuses, excitement will fill in my mind as intensely as his. So I chose electric engineering as my major of undergraduate school. The young boy decided to trace his father’s track and became a well-known engineer.
The second turning point happened in my second year of university. At that time, I had been the manager of our student union for two years and often made plan for some activities and supervised their execution. Gradually I found electric engineering was not the appropriate one for my future. Firstly, because of the fact that though I could get down to the research and stay in lab for a whole day, I am very extraverted with a stronger desire and prominent ability to communicate with others. In every stage of my life, I have several groups of friend who believe and rely on me. I do not want to waste the desire and ability. In addition, as demonstrated in my resume, I had participated in management of many activities and project with the keenest enthusiasm because through arranging every person to finish the whole work appropriately in order to maximize the efficiency of the system, I could realize my individual value as well as create social value. Perhaps it is destined that my life is not supposed to be just a copy of my father’s but a unique legend of myself. Based on these facts, I decide to choose an interdisciplinary subject to study and broaden my mind. After a long hunt I found that some graduate programs in management of engineering were the best choice for me.
In my first two years of college, because of my capriciousness and immaturity, I would pay a large amount of attention to the subjects which I was most interested in while nearly ignore the other. This inevitably resulted in my low gpa. In the year of junior, my mind became more mature and realized that to be a qualified undergraduate, one should not only be omnipotent of knowledge he learned but also have powerful ability of practice. Thus, I began to be assiduous and concentrated on every subject as well as cultivate my skill of practicing. So I took the initiative to take as many lab courses as possible, and try my best to make count every second in the lab. To put what I have learnt in classrooms into use, I made a radio all by myself and it was voted one of the best products among the hand-made radios. In addition, I also cooperated with several classmates and made a voice-activated telecar and an automatic fireproof alarm and was awarded third prize in the electric innovation competition of Shandong University. Besides, I organized a team to compete in China Undergraduate Mathematical Contest in Modeling and responsible for writing code for the model and test its execution as the team leader. The most exciting moment came when I receive my transcript; I found that my gpa had been promoted from 2.54 of first two years to 3.14 of first three years. I harvest an ideal consequence after endeavoring for three years. What is most significant is that in my third year, my view of myself refreshed time after time and I had experienced the adage that where there is a will, there is a way.
While upgrading my academic skills, I hunted for many kinds of internships in the internet. As a result, in Jan 2012, I was enrolled in the trainee program of Peking InnoBuddy education and technology Ltd and responsible for the management of the website of the company. From the same and monotonous work everyday, I gained patience and persistence. In Jul 2012, an offer from Shenzhen INVT electric Ltd. Company came to me. In this company, I worked as the assistant of the manager of R&D department, my routine work was helping my manager to finish the schedule of our department and dealing with organization of the conferences held by him. In this program by watching and imitating the method of dealing the relationship with others applied by my manager, the definition of management became more clear and concrete in my mind. In the intermittence of my internship, I joined the international young leader summit held by the Chinese University of Hong Kong and financial management internship program held by Mass Mutual Asia Ltd – Kingdom Region. Through the summit and program, I learned some basic knowledge such financial management and operation management.
It is a pivotal step of realizing my dream to be admitted into the graduate program of engineering management in xx university, xx university was my first choice for several reasons. Firstly, the engineering management program in xx university has a strong overall reputation and can offer precious courses in this field. Without doubt engineering management will be the trend in the future as a new-born interdisciplinary subject. As a young person of 23 years old, I possess the compassion and energy which match the age; and it is definite that I would communicate with kindred spirits in the school. Additionally, xx university has an excellent location, it locates in the area as well as many famous international enterprise. They have the most advanced idea of management and could offer more internship opportunities for international students. I will definitely return to China after I finish my education in US, but a few years of working experience in US is indeed in my plan.
In graduate school, something extraordinary could be contributed by me, as a Chinese, I will celebrate my cultural background and work with others to help my fellow students know more about China and Chinese business environment, and help them make more well-founded decisions when it comes to doing business with China. At the same time, I will work with existing establishments such as the Chinese Student Association to hold forums of Chinese culture, invite Chinese American leaders from all walks of life to share their insights of the relationship between China and the US. In addition, perhaps I will establish a new organization with student from all over the world aiming at search the possibility of internship and development in the area near the school for my fellow students. I will do my best to make the graduate school outstanding and unique.
小弟在此先谢过各位大大了~！跪求意见啊，因为是第一次写没有任何经验。。。。求大神指导{:4_112:}
The first one happened when I was a high school student, before then, I was a naughty and shiftless boy mingling with students who did not do the right things which were supposed to be done by the excellent students. My life kept being such a mess until an afternoon in my second year. I was requested to have a talk with my English teacher. Every word of what she said will be engraved in my mind forever because it elevates my life into a higher level. I was very smart and could have been an outstanding student but for the reason that I did not pay enough effort, I became what I was. Everything would be different if I focus my attention on my study and future. Finally, I finished the first transformation of my life after gaining a excellent score from the admission examination of college. The former bad boy received admiration from his family and friends. My father is an electrical engineer, though he is not a great one, every time I saw him debugging programs and adjusting apparatuses, excitement will fill in my mind as intensely as his. So I chose electric engineering as my major of undergraduate school. The young boy decided to trace his father’s track and became a well-known engineer.
The second turning point happened in my second year of university. At that time, I had been the manager of our student union for two years and often made plan for some activities and supervised their execution. Gradually I found electric engineering was not the appropriate one for my future. Firstly, because of the fact that though I could get down to the research and stay in lab for a whole day, I am very extraverted with a stronger desire and prominent ability to communicate with others. In every stage of my life, I have several groups of friend who believe and rely on me. I do not want to waste the desire and ability. In addition, as demonstrated in my resume, I had participated in management of many activities and project with the keenest enthusiasm because through arranging every person to finish the whole work appropriately in order to maximize the efficiency of the system, I could realize my individual value as well as create social value. Perhaps it is destined that my life is not supposed to be just a copy of my father’s but a unique legend of myself. Based on these facts, I decide to choose an interdisciplinary subject to study and broaden my mind. After a long hunt I found that some graduate programs in management of engineering were the best choice for me.
In my first two years of college, because of my capriciousness and immaturity, I would pay a large amount of attention to the subjects which I was most interested in while nearly ignore the other. This inevitably resulted in my low gpa. In the year of junior, my mind became more mature and realized that to be a qualified undergraduate, one should not only be omnipotent of knowledge he learned but also have powerful ability of practice. Thus, I began to be assiduous and concentrated on every subject as well as cultivate my skill of practicing. So I took the initiative to take as many lab courses as possible, and try my best to make count every second in the lab. To put what I have learnt in classrooms into use, I made a radio all by myself and it was voted one of the best products among the hand-made radios. In addition, I also cooperated with several classmates and made a voice-activated telecar and an automatic fireproof alarm and was awarded third prize in the electric innovation competition of Shandong University. Besides, I organized a team to compete in China Undergraduate Mathematical Contest in Modeling and responsible for writing code for the model and test its execution as the team leader. The most exciting moment came when I receive my transcript; I found that my gpa had been promoted from 2.54 of first two years to 3.14 of first three years. I harvest an ideal consequence after endeavoring for three years. What is most significant is that in my third year, my view of myself refreshed time after time and I had experienced the adage that where there is a will, there is a way.
While upgrading my academic skills, I hunted for many kinds of internships in the internet. As a result, in Jan 2012, I was enrolled in the trainee program of Peking InnoBuddy education and technology Ltd and responsible for the management of the website of the company. From the same and monotonous work everyday, I gained patience and persistence. In Jul 2012, an offer from Shenzhen INVT electric Ltd. Company came to me. In this company, I worked as the assistant of the manager of R&D department, my routine work was helping my manager to finish the schedule of our department and dealing with organization of the conferences held by him. In this program by watching and imitating the method of dealing the relationship with others applied by my manager, the definition of management became more clear and concrete in my mind. In the intermittence of my internship, I joined the international young leader summit held by the Chinese University of Hong Kong and financial management internship program held by Mass Mutual Asia Ltd – Kingdom Region. Through the summit and program, I learned some basic knowledge such financial management and operation management.
It is a pivotal step of realizing my dream to be admitted into the graduate program of engineering management in xx university, xx university was my first choice for several reasons. Firstly, the engineering management program in xx university has a strong overall reputation and can offer precious courses in this field. Without doubt engineering management will be the trend in the future as a new-born interdisciplinary subject. As a young person of 23 years old, I possess the compassion and energy which match the age; and it is definite that I would communicate with kindred spirits in the school. Additionally, xx university has an excellent location, it locates in the area as well as many famous international enterprise. They have the most advanced idea of management and could offer more internship opportunities for international students. I will definitely return to China after I finish my education in US, but a few years of working experience in US is indeed in my plan.
In graduate school, something extraordinary could be contributed by me, as a Chinese, I will celebrate my cultural background and work with others to help my fellow students know more about China and Chinese business environment, and help them make more well-founded decisions when it comes to doing business with China. At the same time, I will work with existing establishments such as the Chinese Student Association to hold forums of Chinese culture, invite Chinese American leaders from all walks of life to share their insights of the relationship between China and the US. In addition, perhaps I will establish a new organization with student from all over the world aiming at search the possibility of internship and development in the area near the school for my fellow students. I will do my best to make the graduate school outstanding and unique.
小弟在此先谢过各位大大了~！跪求意见啊，因为是第一次写没有任何经验。。。。求大神指导{:4_112:}
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