独立作文求改 110918CN
14323
A or DA the rapid growth of cities in today's world is a mostly positive development for our society.110918CN
驳论：
1. 城市的快速发展给人们的身心健康带来影响（压力、心理健康）（人）
2. 城市的快速发展破坏了自然环境（注意别跟1交叉了）（植物动物）
3. 城市的快速发展竭尽自然能源
修改点：逻辑、例证、结构、句子词汇
正文：
Citiesare developing so rapidly that many things have changed and these changes bringboth positive and negative impacts on our society now. In my point of view, Ideem that the rapid growth of cities makes remarkably negative influences onour society. The fast growth of cities, as a matter of fact, viciously affectsboth physical and psychical health of human beings. Besides, ecologicalenvironment is deteriorated by the expansion of cities and natural energy is onthe edge of depletion.
Apparently,healthy levels of people who live in cosmopolitans are declining though thecontemporary medical treatment skills are much better than before which mighthelp people defeat disease or live longer. The number of people who are transforminginto the state of sub-health is on the rise. The drastic competition in rapidlydeveloping cities exerts large amount of pressure to massive people nowadays.We may quote the common example that there are a growing number of people whoare in search for psychological treatment in hospitals or private clinics. So itis the high pressure that people are tending towards the life with decreasingqualities. Even worse, since there is a strong connection between physiologyand psychology of individuals, deteriorated mental state might lead to myriadsof physical diseases such as headache, insomnia and even cancer. Undoubtedly,it's really detrimental for people's living under such unpleasant and tense circumstance.
Majorityof enlargement of cities is at the expense of destructing ecologicalenvironment. Plants and animals are suffering a lot from such rapidurbanization. There are increasing numbers of natural creatures that are addedto the lists of endangered species. In addition, almost everyone can sense thediminishing of existing forests. For instance, it appears to be harder for usto find an available piece of area for camping. There are no green mountains,no clear streams and even no shadows of woods. What a pity, where has thebeautiful and lively nature gone?
Themore expansion of cities, the more consumption of natural energy. In order toconstruct more buildings and other facilities, humans have to obtain resourcesfrom nature which means large exploitation of our poor planet. There is a day,needless to say, when people use up all the natural energy such as gasoline andfossil oil. When the day comes, people might have to research for other formsof energy from out space or they would find nothing left. No one would like tosee this situation happen. It might even be scaring for some people to imagethe future life that everybody strives for the last natural energy.
In a nutshell,rapidly developing cities, in fact, bring much more destructive impacts tohumans and nature than the benefits it actually provides. Our mental andphysical health state would not be as ideal as before. The whole planet mightbe in danger with less green trees, contaminated water, and polluted air.What's more, nearly depleted energy resources would make us fall into the cycleof dreadful exploitation.
驳论：
1. 城市的快速发展给人们的身心健康带来影响（压力、心理健康）（人）
2. 城市的快速发展破坏了自然环境（注意别跟1交叉了）（植物动物）
3. 城市的快速发展竭尽自然能源
修改点：逻辑、例证、结构、句子词汇
正文：
Citiesare developing so rapidly that many things have changed and these changes bringboth positive and negative impacts on our society now. In my point of view, Ideem that the rapid growth of cities makes remarkably negative influences onour society. The fast growth of cities, as a matter of fact, viciously affectsboth physical and psychical health of human beings. Besides, ecologicalenvironment is deteriorated by the expansion of cities and natural energy is onthe edge of depletion.
Apparently,healthy levels of people who live in cosmopolitans are declining though thecontemporary medical treatment skills are much better than before which mighthelp people defeat disease or live longer. The number of people who are transforminginto the state of sub-health is on the rise. The drastic competition in rapidlydeveloping cities exerts large amount of pressure to massive people nowadays.We may quote the common example that there are a growing number of people whoare in search for psychological treatment in hospitals or private clinics. So itis the high pressure that people are tending towards the life with decreasingqualities. Even worse, since there is a strong connection between physiologyand psychology of individuals, deteriorated mental state might lead to myriadsof physical diseases such as headache, insomnia and even cancer. Undoubtedly,it's really detrimental for people's living under such unpleasant and tense circumstance.
Majorityof enlargement of cities is at the expense of destructing ecologicalenvironment. Plants and animals are suffering a lot from such rapidurbanization. There are increasing numbers of natural creatures that are addedto the lists of endangered species. In addition, almost everyone can sense thediminishing of existing forests. For instance, it appears to be harder for usto find an available piece of area for camping. There are no green mountains,no clear streams and even no shadows of woods. What a pity, where has thebeautiful and lively nature gone?
Themore expansion of cities, the more consumption of natural energy. In order toconstruct more buildings and other facilities, humans have to obtain resourcesfrom nature which means large exploitation of our poor planet. There is a day,needless to say, when people use up all the natural energy such as gasoline andfossil oil. When the day comes, people might have to research for other formsof energy from out space or they would find nothing left. No one would like tosee this situation happen. It might even be scaring for some people to imagethe future life that everybody strives for the last natural energy.
In a nutshell,rapidly developing cities, in fact, bring much more destructive impacts tohumans and nature than the benefits it actually provides. Our mental andphysical health state would not be as ideal as before. The whole planet mightbe in danger with less green trees, contaminated water, and polluted air.What's more, nearly depleted energy resources would make us fall into the cycleof dreadful exploitation.
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