【版主按:此贴2L4L8L可作为修改范本】独立写作-从年长朋友还是同龄朋友处取得意见
1269918
题目:Getting advice from friends who are older than you is more valuable than getting advice from friends in your same age.
[align="left"]It is universally admitted that older people have more wisdoms than the younger ones, and thus, many people tend to think that getting advice from the older is more valuable than from the same age. However, I personally object to the perspective, for a friend in the same age are more likely to feel what I feel and come up with advice which I need most.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]First of all, the seniors, living on their experience that is somewhat old-fashioned, are often stereotypical and stubborn, away from the modern thoughts and conceptions. For instance, upon graduation from high school, my grandmother began to advise me to choose a teaching major, because in her perspective, teachers are stable, high-paid and easy to look for a husband. As for my preference, to become an artist, is viewed by her as an arduous and useless job. My grandmother, similar to her generation, considers one’s career merely a way to make money instead of pursuing interests or dreams. On the contrary, my friends all supported my determination. With their accompany, I endured the hardest period and successfully passed the entrance examination of my dream school. As my sweet friend said, artist is a serious and respectful career. So the advice from the friends who are the same age is more useful.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]In addition, friends in the same age are much more likely to feel what I feel because they are confused by the similar experience. Taking myself as an example, it was really a desperate time when I firstly fell in love but were rejected unfortunately. I truly had a broken heart, felt disappointed with myself and even tried to commit suicide. My parents, however told me that I did not understand what love truly meaned and warned me not to do anything might affect my academic achievements. My affection was thought ridiculous and naive, which deeply hurt me. What is my friends’ advice? They hold me and told me if I swept, there were tears in their eyes also. Peers who stand on the same life phase and observe life from the same window, not only give me their precious advice but also share their feelings which forms the wide difference between advice from the older and the peers.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]To sum up, advice from friends at the same age is more reliable and precious than those from the old. With the peer’s suggestions, we see life as a whole, becoming nobler than we are, wiser than we are and better than we feel. [/align][align="left"]
[/align][align="left"]求狠批...文章的结构、论据分布什么的不知道有没有问题。然后就是用词是不是太土了....其实我还改了几句王尔德的话套进来[/align]
[align="left"]It is universally admitted that older people have more wisdoms than the younger ones, and thus, many people tend to think that getting advice from the older is more valuable than from the same age. However, I personally object to the perspective, for a friend in the same age are more likely to feel what I feel and come up with advice which I need most.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]First of all, the seniors, living on their experience that is somewhat old-fashioned, are often stereotypical and stubborn, away from the modern thoughts and conceptions. For instance, upon graduation from high school, my grandmother began to advise me to choose a teaching major, because in her perspective, teachers are stable, high-paid and easy to look for a husband. As for my preference, to become an artist, is viewed by her as an arduous and useless job. My grandmother, similar to her generation, considers one’s career merely a way to make money instead of pursuing interests or dreams. On the contrary, my friends all supported my determination. With their accompany, I endured the hardest period and successfully passed the entrance examination of my dream school. As my sweet friend said, artist is a serious and respectful career. So the advice from the friends who are the same age is more useful.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]In addition, friends in the same age are much more likely to feel what I feel because they are confused by the similar experience. Taking myself as an example, it was really a desperate time when I firstly fell in love but were rejected unfortunately. I truly had a broken heart, felt disappointed with myself and even tried to commit suicide. My parents, however told me that I did not understand what love truly meaned and warned me not to do anything might affect my academic achievements. My affection was thought ridiculous and naive, which deeply hurt me. What is my friends’ advice? They hold me and told me if I swept, there were tears in their eyes also. Peers who stand on the same life phase and observe life from the same window, not only give me their precious advice but also share their feelings which forms the wide difference between advice from the older and the peers.[/align][align="left"] [/align][align="left"]To sum up, advice from friends at the same age is more reliable and precious than those from the old. With the peer’s suggestions, we see life as a whole, becoming nobler than we are, wiser than we are and better than we feel. [/align][align="left"]
[/align][align="left"]求狠批...文章的结构、论据分布什么的不知道有没有问题。然后就是用词是不是太土了....其实我还改了几句王尔德的话套进来[/align]
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