求改托福作文!一直22,23分,求大家指明我前进的方向!跪谢!

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北冥堃
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1.Which one do you think is the most important factor for a student to success college or university?
1. Tutors in university
2. The encouragement from family and friends
3. High-quality education from high school

With the growing number of graduate students, there is stronger competence pressure for students. Some people believe that the key factor for students to succeed in universities is the encouragement from family and close friends or the strong educational background from high school. However, I insist that good tutors can benefit students most in their universities.

Good tutors can help students to study better. Good tutors usually have rich teaching experience, which enables them to efficiently deliver abstract theories or concepts. Students will have a better understanding of concepts and knowledge, which enables them to get good scores in their final exams. For example, my calculus teacher has been studying how to impart those difficult math theories to students for decades. At his class, he used proper metaphors of concepts and interesting stories of Newton to help students understand knowledge. In his class, I could absorb a lot of information without using the extra time to go through abstract textbooks. As a result, I got an A-plus in the calculus course.

Good tutors also introduce students to the academic world. Students can get a lot of resources and opportunities such as research assistant`s jobs, free equipment, and access to a conference, from their tutors. Those experiences would pace the way for students to do deeper research. For example, my friend`s tutor offered him an opportunity to work in their laboratory, a place full of expensive equipment. He also had an opportunity to go to a conference. At the end of his last year in that school, he had two papers published on SCI and a Ph.D. offer from MIT.

Admittedly, encouragement from relatives and a strong educational background from high school will give students the courage to face all the challenges when they first entered universities. However, that benefit lasts only for a short time. The teaching expressions and academic resources tutors can provide will constantly benefit students for four years.

In a nutshell, tutors are the most important for students if they want to be outstanding and successful at universities because tutors can efficiently impart knowledge to students and provide academic resources to students.
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