独立作文求改 081025NA

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A or DA students who keep their rooms neat and organized will be likely to succeed than students who do not. 081025NA
DA驳论:
1. 保持房间整洁浪费时间 Thomas Adison
2. 保持房间整洁给人一种压力感
3. 爱整洁虽然是一种看似不错的好习惯,但成功的关键因素有很多,但爱整洁不是关键因素 Abraham Lincoln

修改侧重点:逻辑、词句,有问题都指出来吧~

正文:

Success is a common issue people never stop discussing about. When it comes to behaviors of students, some people may argue that keeping rooms neat and well organized is a fare habit for students to succeed. However, I can not totally vote for this point of view. As far as I am concerned, keeping rooms neat and well organized wastes time of students, and may even bring some unnecessary pressure to them. Besides, there are lots of other elements which are far more significant than just having the behavior of being neat for students to succeed.

Apparently, it is convenient for students not to tidy their rooms. And they can save a huge amount of time for doing something else. They can spend the time on building up bodies, reading more books, or just taking a break and relaxing. They are concerned about the efficiency with the accelerating tempo of life. The faster, the better. Consider the example of Thomas Edison, he would not like to clean up his room for it might take much time on which he could spend doing more experiments. In short, not tidying up rooms is convenience and it leaves more time for students to do some more meaningful stuffs.

In addition, well organized room creates an atmosphere of solemn. Just image if you see everything is in order in a room, you might feel a little serious like you are in a library with all books standing on shelves tidily. This solemn may be an origin of creating more pressure subconsciously for students. Indeed, neat room is kind of delivering information that one should settle down all the minds in the brain just as tidy as his or her room. In light of this, more pressure is brought to students secretly.
Admittedly, it is generally agreed that the behavior of keeping rooms neat does bring students benefits. For example, they can take this habit to their studies which may help them organize knowledge well. But other qualities of faithfulness, intelligence, determination are directly proportional to success. Without faithfulness, one can not insist on when he or she is encountered with hard situation. Without intelligence, one would spend more time tackle with tough problems. Without determination, one can hardly make choice in crucial time. Think about Abraham Lincoln, could he lead Americans to victory in the Civil War without his rapid decision in this severe emergency? Thus, many factors contribute to individuals' success including students. And having the habit of keeping rooms neat is only a small factor for students’ success.

In summary, it is not absolute that students who like to keep rooms neat will be likely to succeed than those who do not. If the statement is true, there must be abundant with evidences supporting this standpoint. Unfortunately, there is few. But what really do impact students’ opportunities to succeed are other well-known qualities such as honesty, faithfulness, intelligence, and so on. Habit of cleaning up room is not the key element for student’s success.
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